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An interesting lesson took place last week for me. Three people last week accused me of having an ego. Instantly I became defensive about it. I stated that my blogs are so honest and revealing, that anyone with an ego could not possibly write such entries! Turns out the lesson happened a few nights later.

Two of the guys I work with were in my car as we drove to a party. We will call them ‘Chuck’ and ‘Jim’. Jim was going to Montreal for a weekend long drunken-fest. Chuck needed Jim to do some coding for the website right away. Jim spent most of the weekend doing it only to find out Chuck didn’t need it as quickly as he said he did.

Jim brought it up in the car to get Chuck’s response that there was an element missing that he hadn’t noticed and wasn’t able to keep the tight schedule because of the missing element. Get it? Complicated.

So Chuck said he needed the coding done anyway, and didn’t have any advance notice of the missing element, so how is he wrong? Jim kept harping on the fact he spent a weekend working unnecessarily. Chuck responded with 2 months of working away from his 6 month old daughter and wife was more sacrifice than one weekend. Jim only could respond with the same argument and no solution. Finally he got the argument up to Chuck responding with ‘F – you’.

At that moment I realized Chuck hadn’t purposely tried screwing up Jim’s weekend and had no prior notice to give Jim. Jim should have apologized but didn’t. He looked silly by not saying the ever so painful word ‘sorry’.
Looking back in history's powerful figures, the reason for their demise was EGO. From the Romans to Napoleon, from Hitler to Saddam, from Trump to Martha, all of them succumbed to ego. If you look at what ego is, you would laugh. Ego is the Conscious brain’s reaction to avoid looking silly, which is ironic since that’s exactly how you look.

Going back to the three people who made the comment, made me think of what my mother used to say. She said ‘if the world sees it as one thing and you see it as something else, chances are you need a new eye exam.’ Actually I don’t think it was my mother but literally my eye doctor (and probably was not trying to give me a life lesson, but an explanation on why he is prescribing glasses).

I am not sure what you all think about it, but to me, when someone apologizes, I know how hard it must have been to say it, and have more respect for them. Yes, it may also be their fault, but to admit to your part whether they take the same responsibility is not the point, you feel like the bigger person. The worst part is that by holding your ego above your admittance of wrong doing, is insecurity. I like having people around me that tell it to me like it is. No holding back or kissing ass.

So I thank those who told me I have an ego. Since the event in the car, I have been trying to be more careful of myself and my actions.
Care to try it?

An article I was part of was featured in INC Magazine. Below is the link if you are interested.
http://blog.inc.com/one-person-business/2010/01/this_week_i_have_the.htm...